Linda, Hugo, and Sarah have all expressed concerns because I haven’t posted in a few weeks.
I guess that’s understandable considering in the last episode I was chained to a chair with no chance of escape. Things have gotten better. The chain has been replaced by a rope.
Escape seems possible.
One reason I hesitated posting was because Anne pointed out people were getting burned out on the blog because reading about cancer for so many months gets depressing. On Saturday it will be the one year anniversary of my diagnosis, which is an awfully long time.
She suggested I do an upbeat post that emphasized the positive. With the depressing weather, stress from extended family, and an inability to maintain my weight I was having problems finding my happy spot.
We visited Dr. Tseng yesterday and it was a bit of a turning point. I haven’t exactly found my happy spot, but things are looking much better.
In fact, I feel like I am finally headed in a new direction. A direction that will lead to life becoming normal again.
For one thing, Dr. Tseng said to stop worrying about the slight weight loss. He said he wouldn’t be concerned unless I’d lost ten to fifteen pounds, which isn’t going to happen.
He also strongly encouraged me to crank up my exercising, both to build muscle mass as well as increase my appetite. I immediately started doing push ups, side planks, and stretching exercises. I’m also going to increase the intensity of my walks.
I’m pretty excited about this. I miss being fit.
I mentioned to Dr. Tseng my heart had been fluctuating between 84 and 119. A normal a heart rate is between 60 and 100.
He said this was probably due to my body readjusting after the surgery and chemo. He also said it could explain why I felt so crappy and maybe why I am still retching.
He suggested I visit my cardiologist, which I am doing on Monday. Maybe that will help.
Almost every time I eat I have a negative experience. I’m afraid my body has become so conditioned to feeling bad when I eat that it has decided that’s the normal thing to do. It’s one of those psychological things.
I’m going to deal with this by checking out a clinical psychologist that specializes in psychoneuroimmunology, the science of mind/body medicine.
She has a history of working with cancer patients to help them work through the after effects of treatment. She uses a combination of Jungian therapy, visualization and hypnosis to achieve her goals.
Considering Jungian therapists tend to be nuttier than a fruitcake, this promises to be immensely entertaining.
Gary – good to hear an update. It is nice to see you out walking the neighborhood. Will you be able to start swimming again eventually? I hope so. I think swimming is a great form of exercise. Looking forward to reading about your next adventure with the Jungian therapist.
-Julie, John and Indie
Hi Gary,
Thanks for the update, and I’m glad things are looking up a bit. I wouldn’t worry about us “reading about cancer for several months.” I’m sure having cancer for several months is about a thousand times worse. We’re looking forward to seeing you and Anne for a couple of hours this summer– we’ll probably be out there approximately the first two weeks in July. I had my last day of teaching today!
Regards, Hugo
I am planning on resuming the swimming. I don’t have much stamina yet and swimming seems a bit overwhelming at the moment. None-the-less, I am really looking forward the eventually getting back to it.
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I’ll be going to the therapist primarily for the hypnosis. I’m not quite prepared to explore whether my Jungian shadow can overpower the archetype of the prince that rules my subconscious.
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Besides, it might bring out my deep seated fear of being turned into a frog.
Congratulations on your retirement. I know you must be excited.
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The good thing is I don’t have cancer. What I have is a very slow recovery from the surgery and the chemo. Dr. Tseng emphasized, again, how extremely difficult this course of treatment is. It just takes a heck of a long time to bounce back.
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We’re looking forward to seeing you and Linda this summer. Hopefully by then I’ll have a whole new set of things to complain about. I am so tired of rambling on about my health. It’s even beginning to bore me.
It’s always entertaining to read your posts. Even with all of the discomfort and pain you’ve experienced, you still seem to keep your sense of humor intact and find amusing analogies to help us understand. Not boring at all! I second Julie’s recommendation for swimming. Remember how starving you used to be upon getting out of the pool as a child? Maybe the exercise will help your new stomach get better into gear….?? Looking forward to an in person visit soon! Continued good wishes in the digestion arena.
I agree about the swimming. I hesitate because I have so little stamina and still have an open wound that is draining. The wound is almost healed and I am increasing my walking to build up stamina. Hopefully I will be able to resume swimming fairly soon. We are looking forward to visiting you when you make it to this neck of the woods.
Excited to hear more about the therapist. Love you.
My first appointment it tomorrow at 3:00. It should be interesting. Thanks for the referral.
Hellooooooooo Gary (and Anne!)!
I am SO sorry I haven’t “commented” in a while! We were on vacation for 2 weeks.
How did the appt. with the therapist go? Does some of your counseling training come into play? I was SO glad to hear that just a little weight loss is ok and I am now doing the Gary eat with no stomach rebellions dance!
I lOVED the spring picture of your house and we hope to come out your way about this same time next year!
Your posts especially about the Royal Wedding are such a hoot! Check this out:http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2712493/posts. I just can’t stop laughing at some of those tacky hats!!!
You remain such an inspiration to us and kudos again to Anne!
Your east coast friends,
Louise and Don
The therapy went fine. I’m going there for the hypnotherapy rather than the full Jungian mind warp. The therapist asked me a bunch of questions then hypnotized me while incorporating what I told her into the session.
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She created a CD of the session so I can re-hypnotize myself whenever I want. I’m converting it to mp3 format so I can listen to it better.
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My counseling training only comes into play in the sense I understand what she is doing. She spent a lot of time explaining things I already knew, but that was ok. It never hurts to get a refresher.
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I want to thank my Niece Jennifer again for referring me to this lady. It seems to be working out.
glad to hear it went well!
SO glad to hear that Gary. Speaking of mp3 format I have spent countless hours trying to figure out all this stuff. We tried to convert some movies I took and put on the computer so that I could transfer them to my ipod and delete them off my memory card (I sound like I know what I’m doing don’t I?!)! I am el cheapo in buying extra memory cards! We finally got it to work when it would have only taken a phone call to a friend’s teenage son who was out of town! GRRRRRRRR
I always figure it’s better to invest the countless hours than depending on teenagers. When you figure it out yourself there is a certain satisfaction knowing you where able to do it, and will be able to do it again. Depending on teenagers usually involves a lot of eye rolling that leaves you feeling like a total dweeb.
So you can hypnotize yourself now? You don’t do that with headphones while walking, do you? Wouldn’t you get lost, so to speak? I’d love to hear more about the whole hypnosis thing, but I sure hope it’s working for you!
Truth be told, I already knew how to hypnotize myself. I just didn’t know how to do it for this particular situation. I do the head phones while relaxing in the LazyBoy chair. I usually fall asleep, which is OK because the idea is for the message to sink into your subconscious. I’ll mention in my next post how well it is working.